I still love and enjoy, but lesser from now…

I think having a resolution and trying to make it happen wasn’t easy. And that should be one of the best reason why it is called ‘Resolution’ and having to keep in mind for the entire year. It’s already september and I realized how times simply flew passed even without a wink, and I start to think about how old I am, how much I have overspent over the year, and what had i achieve over the past 9 months.

Despite working FT for 5 months, Freelance for 2 months, and having a great 25 days holiday, other than that, it will generally contributed to all my KPOP life; concerts and showcase.

Honestly speaking, I feel that those money spent should be jolly-well giving to other who really need it more than ‘donating’ to the concerts i went. As I start to think, even without me in the concert hall, the concert still goes on, the idols still get their earnings… but at the other part of the world, there’s people who doesn’t have food to eat… and still having nothing to eat… I feel really upset and bad. $100 can’t bring an idol to anywhere, yet bring a few families some happiness. Thinking of it… i really feel extremely bad.

I have been working full time for about 5 years having fixed income, quite stable though it is not really a huge some of money. But well, it still money spent, all my hard-earn money. I have come to a ‘sense’ where I think it time to get this over, and stop going for so many concerts and showcases. Of cos, this doesn’t mean that I will stop watching, it is not easy to stop everything, but i will try my best not to watch everything i like (I only watched those i’m interested in). Afterall, I don’t think I have any reason… or in the first place, do i have any?

There’s so many thing in life that we will to achieve, and I don’t want this to be part of why the reason I can’t get what I want/learn/achieve. I want to learn extra skills – piano etc, i want to have my korean language improved. I want my business to go smoothly and well. I want alot and many. And, I need times and money for all these. In fact, I’m not going to say bye, but I’m just going to have lesser of all these concert/showcases which can actually give me another holiday! I love sightsee-ing….! :)

I don’t wish to be someone who say something and not doing it eventually. But then again, how sure I can fulfill what I had just said? I also unsure. I only can persuade myself that I should not disappoint myself in something I want to achieve, and it is not too hard either.

back then, when everything is simple… i used to be a follower of kpop/cpop, and have no problem with no-concert-no-showcases experience. As much as, I might went for Wilber Pan’s but it’s all free because I won the tickets or simply buying a album which cost less than $20 to get an autograph. Thing are so much simple in the past. It’s getting more complicated as technologies goes, and when everyone have the power to do everything. I get all my loves from idols even through my small laptop screen or via DVD i bought. I wondering was it the power of money that cost the difference?

sometimes, i love the days when the technologies wasn’t as great as now. when you don’t need a handphone to arrange date with your friend, you communicate with them more. when you don’t need to save all your number in a phone, you remember every single number and dial it with no problem. when you meet up with friends & family, you don’t spend most of your times playing with the phone. Days without all the technologies… was simply great. But then again, it is because of technologies – I can chit chat with my friend when she is oversea ;)

I love the life when it used to be so much simpler.

Not sure if I have jump away from the topic I want to address. Well, in short, I wish I can be more determine and not going for too many concerts/showcase. But I think once/twice a year is consider good and more than enough. Remember those are only WANTS not NEEDS! I can do it, i believe you can too.

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4 comments

  1. bb

    hey, hua-hua-arh…
    this has gotta be one of my fave piece of writing from you. and i wish you lots and lots of luck in achieving most of everything you want in life. but do remember to work hard and play hard ^^

    you’ve a nice girl with a fab heart, i believe your kindness will bring you happiness in some way or another.. luckz!

    • 슈퍼스타

      thank you bb unnie ;) I will work hard and achieve everything I want ;) I believe i can do it too! :) Thank you! ^^

  2. yyann

    yyann is here to post her 1st comment & sharings after reading this entry!
    Well, I wouldn’t not agree much of the point you gave in the entry here.

    I would say Fandom is indeed a dangerous “trap” for humans(be it girls/boys). I used to think that all the fangirls are crap & wonder what’s there to follow about; that’s why I give my chance & try to enter this “mini-world”. No doubt, I do enjoy things involving(not to the very extreme) because we need to learn how to control ourselves. This is the reason why I choose to be a simple fan instead; & I even set a period of time where I should end all these. =O

    I remember BB unnie once commented that “Just do the limit that you can. There’re always many ways to support the idol. There’s no point spending all your moolahs & at the end of the day, juggling hard trying to survive.”
    But thinking back, those $$ could be well-spent to feed those poor families & kids at the other side of the world, spending on learning new skills or maybe even savings for the necessary time as well! We should always be clear of the Needs or Wants in the Fandom world. ^^ Of course, we can spend a certain amount to support them, but, we really need to learn to be clear of the situation that we are standing on, at the very moment.

    I got to say there’ll always be a FULL-STOP to all these, but it just depends on how willing of the person would be able to do it. 加油! I believe you can do it!

    • 슈퍼스타

      thank yyann. Yup! I think fandom is not something bad, but I believe people who spend-blindly will come to a sense that those are just idol and this is some sort of luxury that we might not know and realise. Well, like you mentioned, as long we learn how to control ourselves, i think is perfectly fine. Well, fandom give you friendship, and also, give you a little happiness as you can shared your joy and fun with people.

      Yes! Definitely, I think, right now, I believe it time to give it a stop. As much as I do enjoyed myself, I think for the past 1 years, i have really spend alot on all these, though there’s no regret about those spending. I think it is still consider overspending. Anyway, I think as long I don’t feel regretful and enjoyed every single thing that I spent it is still alright.

      Right now, i have something else to look forward too. And I think I should pay more attention to other stuff too. As much as I love KPOP (you know, i like it ever since im sec sch), it WAS a long wait before it get so popular, and I get to see many people appreciate thing that I do as well. I used to think, only me and its me only, as my friends are all not a K-person. haha! Anyway thanks for all your saying, what you said, is also what I thought too.

      I will still support those idol i like in my own ways ;)

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