I don't know why…

I don’t know why…

I have been wanting to share this in my blog that there’s something actually quite bother me. It is nothing to do with anything yet everything. It is pretty hard to explain in words, hence, I have been thinking how should I convey myself. And, hopefully, by writing it out, will lead me to somewhere. Somewhere, I do not even know.

Reflection. Why? I think one of the best well, is to sit down one day, and think about what I have done, and what should I improve. There’s too much things that is running across my mind right now. I do not know, how well I can convey myself in words. Hopefully, this entry does help me to be a better someone, and get my thoughts much more clearer.

I actually feeling really detach away from the world. It is kind of unlike me, because I love crowd, and this spell – GATHERING. I love being with my friends, hanging out at cafe, even though we might just do nothing but chit chat. I love meeting friends who I hardly met, on the street or even on train ride to have a short and wonderful chat with them. This is not surprise that I love to go out and travel around as well. But, recently, I doesn’t want to go out at all. This does surprise me because I have no idea why out of the blue, I have a little fear of traveling out.

I have fear of meeting alot of people. I also wish that, sometimes, I hope I will not see anyone familiar on the street. Sometimes, I don’t even feel like see-ing myself in the mirror. Disgusting.

I think the ‘detach away from the world’ might be why, I feeling so insecure. Staying at home for the weekend doesn’t seem to be something what a 20s doing. Instead of feeling boring, I really like, and wish that I could have stay at home for the next few weekends. I’m certainty feel this is not a healthy thought. And I don’t know why.

I’m quite troubled because of this. And, I am totally unsure how I can make this situation better. So, I thought, I should get out of the house for some normal activity instead of staying at home.

Hence, when you are reading this entry, I probably trying my best to bend. I just took up Yoga lesson (again) with Mel Jolene Teng and Yvonne! I hope by going through this will make me feel better instead of keeping myself in the house.

And, I might share with you how’s my Yoga class after I finished! 🙂